Practicing regular self-reflection through journaling
This is, of course, the journal where I am developing this practice. The struggle is in actually doing the self-reflection. Noticing what I am thinking about is harder than it would seem. It's my brain, my thoughts, right? How can I not notice what I am thinking about? Or perhaps it should be noted that there seem to be things I should be thinking about that I am not. What am I avoiding?
It is easy to let the events of the day take priority and absorb my focus. Meals, chores, fitness habits, skill learning for my art and my business...all are important. But it is also important to spend time thinking about what is most important. It feels awkward even writing this in my own journal which may be read by no one but me. But in my world, I am most important. The purpose I set for myself is most important.
This way of thinking is in direct opposition with the way I was raised. I was taught that my purpose is already determined - it was to glorify god. Period. That was the be all and end all of my existence. The only latitude I had was perhaps in choosing what method I would employ to do this grand and glorious work. But even that had strict parameters and expectations.
As an artist, I'd be expected to focus on realism - perhaps praying hands, lions and lambs, and crucifixes would be my subject matter. I can barely keep my eyes from rolling. Naturally, it is difficult to make a living making this sort of drivel. So being an artist wasn't encouraged.
So, as I remember that my chosen purpose is my highest calling, I can reflect on how that frees me to live the life I want to live. It is my desire that living this life will help others realize that they have the same freedom available to them, and that whoever and whatever they choose to be is valuable to our shared existence.
